I made a decision to blog about this a while back, but I kinda misplaced my Blogplanner (I’m not sure if I misplaced it because I haven’t even searched for it), what jogged my memory and made me write this today is what i’ve been seeing on my Twitter (@quirksandoutfit) and a discussion I recently had about gender based violence, gender roles, rape culture and what the traditional role of the African Man plays in this.
My friend (he isn’t African mind you) whom I was talking to about this seems to think that the African Man has always being a brute and he was always encouraged in all these forcefully asserting dominance over the other gender including his sexual desires and will in day to day activities. Now the old me would have agreed because I used to feel like Africa has a way of making whatever men do seem right and men were like lords and all but I know better now.
The African Man is NOT a brute. That’s what Things Fall Apart seem to make every one think. Not every African Man is like Okonkwo. Some of us are like Obierika. Some are even like Unoka.
Looking back I realize that while it seems like the African Man was a savage, the truth is the African Man was merely raised in an habitat where the conditions aren’t the best, and they were raised with duties (Just like the woman). The duty to Provide. The duty to Protect. In fact, it has been proven that African Men who beat their wives back then (and then When I say Wives they had WIVES) were considered weaklings. Even you raising your hand on a brother of the clan without provocation. You are merely an idiot.
Even when it comes to things like effeminity where the Current African Man seems to have this view of any man being effeminate is probably worse than a crumbling purple moon (Please. The moon isn’t purple right? Because that will ruin my analogy) the truth is African Men in the past have never really considered it like we do now, I mean see how quickly we got on board with prints, which in today’s society we would have considered too colourful and female for a man. The African Man is the Pharoh in all of us. Powerful. Cunning. Savage. And unafraid to dab some makeup and be extra. Lol.
In all. What I want to say is Stop the Violence especially the gender based one. It is wrong and evil and if you need me to say it, it is UNAFRICAN (so don’t use that as an excuse) and it is also UNCHRISTIAN and INHUMAN.
Photo Credit – Chidinma of My Style Mirror
Two Piece Ankara – Tailor Who Doesn’t Have A Social Media Account
Sandals – Faaji Footwear
Handpiece – Versace