The African Man

I made a decision to blog about this a while back, but I kinda misplaced my Blogplanner (I’m not sure if I misplaced it because I haven’t even searched for it), what jogged my memory and made me write this today is what i’ve been seeing on my Twitter (@quirksandoutfit) and a discussion I recently had about gender based violence, gender roles, rape culture and what the traditional role of the African Man plays in this.

My friend (he isn’t African mind you)  whom I was talking to about this seems to think that the African Man has always being a brute and he was always encouraged in all these forcefully asserting dominance over the other gender including his sexual desires and will in day to day activities. Now the old me would have agreed because I used to  feel like Africa has a way of making whatever men do seem right and men were like lords and all but I know better now. 

The African Man is NOT a brute. That’s what Things Fall Apart seem to make every one think. Not every African Man is like Okonkwo. Some of us are like Obierika. Some are even like Unoka. 

Looking back I realize that while it seems like the African Man was a savage, the truth is the African Man was merely raised in an habitat where the conditions aren’t the best, and they were raised with duties (Just like the woman). The duty to Provide. The duty to Protect. In fact, it has been proven that African Men who beat their wives back then (and then When I say Wives they had WIVES)  were considered weaklings.  Even you raising your hand on a brother of the clan without provocation. You are merely an idiot.

Even when it comes to things like effeminity where the Current African Man seems to have this view of any man being effeminate is probably worse than a crumbling purple moon (Please. The moon isn’t purple right? Because that will ruin my analogy) the truth is African Men in the past have never really considered it like we do now, I mean see how quickly we got on board with prints, which in today’s society we would have considered too colourful and female for a man.  The African Man is the Pharoh in all of us. Powerful. Cunning. Savage. And unafraid to dab some makeup and be extra. Lol.

In all. What I want to say is Stop the Violence especially the gender based one. It is wrong and evil and if you need me to say it, it is UNAFRICAN (so don’t use that as an excuse) and it is also UNCHRISTIAN and INHUMAN.

Photo Credit – Chidinma of My Style Mirror 

Outfit Details 

Two Piece Ankara – Tailor Who Doesn’t Have A Social Media Account

Sandals – Faaji Footwear 

Handpiece – Versace 


22 Replies to “The African Man”

  1. I love your style of writing. It’s solid yet refreshing. In the words of Chimamanda Ngozie, “To choose to write is to reject silence”. We must never keep silent when an integral part of our society is being oppressed. It’s been a horrifying week here in South Africa where a young lady was burnt to death by her boyfriend. And I kept reading news of domestic violence in Nigeria and Cameroon aswell. And to imagine these are just the ones reported. It’s scary. 😅

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Extremely scary. But it is inhumane to say that this violence won’t stop anytime soon? Or won’t stop at all? If you are a Christain, you would know what the Bible says about the end time. I think we are at that moment, or should I say we have been at it for yearssssss.

      Absolute peace will only exist in Heaven.

      Oréoluwa’s blog

      Liked by 3 people

      1. I agree which is why we have to start paving our way to heaven and absolute peace. The rate of the growth violence really really scares me because it’s one thing to slap a woman (which I think is not acceptable at all) but to kill and burn someone? Wow I have no words for that. Thank you for reading and I love your own take on the issue in your blog

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Thank you!! I agree With Chimamanda we have to use our talents and gifts and platform to reject things like this and bring about a change. Trust me when I say domestic balance is a daily thing here, everywhere you turn and so. Many aren’t even reported!!!! Thank you for reading through and commenting I appreciate?!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Very very nice post
    This is very mature and I bet you most men don’t think like this.
    Indeed African men are not synonymous to violence
    Domestic violence is a global thing, it concerns all men and not especially African men because times have changed and people too
    Violence should be condemned in every race
    Nice write-up!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. My dear violence isn’t relative to any race, culture or gender. Although some spawn of Satan feel they can treat women anyhow because she’s the weaker sex and she’s supposed to be submissive. I’m planning to write something similar, I pray I get around to it fast, I’ll mostly be looking at it from the feminine angle and I intend to advice women on how to protect themselves from the bad eggs. Nice wear BTW and the Sandals 👌.
    P.S- open a social media account for your tailor nau 😂😄😉

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Did you rub brown powder here too?☺

    Not all men are okonkwo!
    And as it is in Africa so it is in other continent. Na d wan wey we see na im we dey talk.


  5. It’s nice to hear a guys perspective on domestic violence, so much is going on in thew world and I feel we bloggers or influences or socially aware people must continue speaking out in the hopes of inspiring a positive change. On to the outfit, I like how simple yet colourful everything is. I love when guys embrace native attires, nicely done.

    Princess Audu


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