Hey guys!!! Happy New week!! How was the weekend? And happy Muslim Holiday to my Muslim readers, even though it’s not from my heart. Why? No, I don’t have any problem with Islam, but why today? I was supposed to have my first lecture today!!! After almost five months of almost going crazy stuck indoors. But I do hope this holiday is that one that Muslims give people plenty meat, hence my side eye in the picture above. Am looking at my Muslim neighbors wondering ‘What are they waiting for?’. Anyways, while am stuck here in my baggiest sweatpants and loose shirt, I decided to write a post that I have had forever in my draft.
So when I did the TMI tag (please, if you missed it check it out- here) I mentioned my turn offs and turn ons. But I feel like maybe I should talk about the easiest way into my heart. Because yes, i am single. And to someone like me, it is very odd. Seeing how ever since I started dating I haven’t been single for more than a week. Am not a player, trust me I have no game, but am just lucky like that. *Cool Shades*
So here are Ten ways to get into my heart/ My new dating checklist.
1) You need to be a nerd. I don’t care how cute you are, I don’t care how much money you think you have but if you aren’t a nerd, you are nothing to me. I mean, have you seen me? I am such a nerd, I watch cartoons like they give me life and if we can’t watch cartoons together, just forget it. We need to be able to quarrel over DC and Marvel, over Batman and Iron-man. Even though, we all know Batman is everything.
2) You need to be one of those people who give crazily adorable nicknames. Things like ‘Sweet Potato’ ‘My Cute Cuddly Cushion’ ‘Teddy Wubby’ etc.
3) Beyonce. We all know Beyonce is Bae. She is the Queen, and I don’t need to waste my energy arguing over this. Once, I met a guy who said Shakira is better than Beyonce.
If not that, I made a promise to myself that ‘Violence is Never the answer otherwise’.
4) I adore those very cute couples on TV. You know those ones that do things like this-
Me- Let’s go get Ice-Cream
My Partner- I’m picking the flavor
Me- Yes, and you’ll choose Double Vanilla.
My Partner- (Looks at me and sigh) Yes, i’ll choose Double Vanilla.
You know, those couples that until one see the other they are uncomfortable. When I enter the room, I can’t rest till my eyes find you. Yes, i am overly romantic and attached while in a relationship.
5) You need to understand, I don’t dig the whole boyfriend-girlfriend gig. Which is why, I always use ‘Partner’ instead.
6) You need to not be a Trumper. Enough said, even if you are everything else on this list and you support Trump. I’ll just start walking away, cause there ain’t any point in us talking.
7) We need to love E! E! means Everything! to me. I live mostly for E! So, we need to agree that E! rocks.
8) You need to be physical. Am not talking about sex here. I mean, am this guy who loves cuddling so much. And I just love resting my head on someone or someone resting there’s on mine. I just really love touching or being touched. Enough said.
9) You watch Glee. And your favorite characters are Kurt, Santana, Mercedes, Blaine and Rachel.
10) You need to be crazy. Have you met me? I am the craziest guy this side of the galaxy, and if you aren’t crazy, darling, why are we talking?
Bonus- You need to be a good talker. Most people think I’m quiet, but if you know me I love conversations. Especially, good conversations. Those types that we can have over a cup of coffee, with Netflix or YouTube and alot of Spaghetti.
So there it is, if you know anyone who fits the bill, don’t forget to hit me up. Cause, yes I am single and though am not really searching i’ld love to connect with anyone -guy or girl, who fits the bill, just for friendship.
P. S- Don’t forget to follow me on Instagram.
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