My Experience|| Effeminophobia 

It’s no secret that I think the Glee Series is one of the best thing since the creation of Cell Phones. And I consider Season Three to be my favorite, and one of the key moments in Season Three has got to be Kurt Hummel’s performance of ‘I Am Greatest Star’. Permit me to Geek Out-or ‘Gleek Out’. You see, Kurt was auditioning for Tony,  the male lead role of the West Side Story ,  a role he needed to up his credits to get into his dream school.  And for his audition, he performed an amazing rendition of Barbra Streisand’s ‘I Am The Greatest Star’s from the Musical Funny  Girl, with amazing flexibility, I didn’t know he had as well as performing  dexterously with daggers. You’ld think he got the role.  He didn’t. Why?  He was considered too effeminate  for the role!!! Not minding, he was light on his feet, had an amazing countertenor and the acting skills to boot. Skills his boyfriend didn’t show, though he got the role. Yea, you got that right his boyfriend.  Proving the problem wasn’t his sexuality but rather his feminity. Or in the words of Coach Beiste ”He was too much of a lady.

Now, that I have chewed out your ear, let’s get to it. Effeminophobia is merely the hartred and fear of effeminate men. What really got me inspired for this post was watching Richard Akuson’s vlog- Get Pink With Richard. In a particular vlog, he talked about accepting his feminity and his experience when people- other guys try to rough-shake him and he would go for a more ‘demure’ approach. And I just thought ‘Hold the phone, I can so relate to this.”

Growing up,  I have dealt with alotta insinuations about my sexuality based merely on my more feminine mannerisms, right from the age five, I remember being called a ‘Woman-wrapper’ and honestly that is quite great compared to other names I have been called. I can also remember, while I was in Benin Republic, and boys played this mean joke on me and would call me ‘Babe’ and when the girls were going to play soccer they told the lecturer to include me in the list of girls. (Even though I don’t play soccer) It may have been a joke but it hurt, like really hurt.  But what really hurt may have been a friend of Mine referring to me as an ‘Honorary Girl’.And it made me wonder, why is being called a girl supposed to be hurtful? 

Then I remember, an old magazine I read once that, women are celebrated for being manly, and men are being booed for being feminine, that it probably steems from the belief that women are a weaker sex,  and should be praised for being more like the stronger sex, whilst men whom emulate the weaker sex are shunned cause they are seemingly going backward. This is why I believe in Gender Equality and not just Feminism. But before this post get too long, I think reintroductions  are due. 

My name is Vincent Desmond, I am 17 years Old,  And I am effeminate.

Share,  Like and tell me in the comment section if you’ve had an effeminophobic experience. And don’t forget to follow me on Instagram @quirksandoutfits. 


15 Replies to “My Experience|| Effeminophobia ”

  1. Wow, you don’t look 17 a bit but that’s btw.. I’m just coming across this word for the very first time but I’ve seen cases of people undergoing this treatment and tbh, I didn’t think much of it. Reading this just made me realize how much pain they must have felt and tried to hide. My very close guy friend acts like a female sometimes because he has 3 sisters and my brother loves to try out makeup, wear our skirts because he has 2 sisters. Lol. Hope you’re good.


    1. Yeah I get that alot peeps tend to misjudge my age cause of my beard, and height plus the fact that I left sec school really early… Yeah, effeminphobia is relatively new in my personal dictionary cause I found online after the Glee Debacle as a the obsessive fan I am… Most people tend to misjudge the pain, ‘friendly bullying’ causes…we just need to be a li’l bit more aware And cautious…and sometimes the amount of females around us really affects our mannerism, am a witness to that… Yeah, Ola am all good.. Thanks for stopping by


  2. I had no idea you were 17, boy!
    I think the day a man (referring to males and females of course) finally comes to accept every little bit of himself is the day he has finally tasted and grasped his own freedom.
    Who cares what anyone else is saying?
    And that’s when so much power comes in.
    Awesome post dear, I’d be following right now 🙂


    1. Awwww thanks so much.. For the comment and the follow, your right accepting yourself every bitz from one end to the other is like the best feeling everything becomes easier and clearer…am still learning to accept myself but it’s becoming easier already


    1. Lol. I agree man gas me man and all. I just think the insistence on rigid gender roles, women brutality, and men trying to prove their manhood are all connected. If we were a bit more flexible the world will be a better place. Someone once said ‘If you don’t bend, you might get broken ‘ off to read dear


  3. First time I’m hearing the word. And I’m impressed that you’ve accepted your personality, there are some “me inclusive” still struggling to figure ourselves out.
    Weldone and stay good hun.


    1. Thank you!!! Accepting it is hard but living daily and not letting other people bring you down cause of it is even harder, but don’t worry I’m sure you will get to that place where you accept it totally!!! I’m certain. Thanks for reading and commenting dear!!! Come by again!!!


  4. My goodness, this post is actually amazing! It’s always good to find out more about people, and I’m sure since you’re now a beauty blogger the jabs will just subtly keep coming. You wrote so well, and I was able to understand exactly how you feel without ever being in the same position. Amazing.


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