Life || The Big Move

​I keep telling people that I am a Libra, and they don’t get why am so insistent on that fact, well what I mean is, I am the poster boy for the Libra Traits- am a lover of beauty, am easy going,  I find it hard to say No (Which trust me leads to some funny situations) and am indecisive. I find it hard to just say I don’t want this I want this. I mean I could spend an hour weighing the pros and cons between a simple dinner order (That’s if meatpies and Fanta is outta the list). And unfortunately, it affects me in other areas,  like today I had to make the decision to switch over to WordPress from Blogger.  Honestly, the way I was going i’ld spend forever just making this decision and I’ll get nothing done. 

You’ld think that would mean I make topnotch decisions. You couldn’t be more wrong. And I mean this in different facets of life. Not too long ago, I had to make the decision to come back home from school- permanently.  And well,  it was probably the hardest thing I’ve had to do.  As well,  as leaving a relationship I was unhappy with. But addicted to. I knew I had to come back home,  because that wasn’t where I wanted to be. I knew that that being there didn’t make me happy. I knew that Blogger might be awesome to some people,  but to me it just wasn’t. I knew that my relationship was killing me,  and suffocating my personality. But yet,  I still kept finding reasons to remain there. I felt I’ll lose the stats I was starting to get. I felt I’ll lose friends from my University. I felt i’ld hurt someone by leaving. I felt….. I just gave excuses. Because that’s all they were. And then in one moment,  I said ‘No’. I deserved to be in a relationship that accepted me for all my flamboyant and fabulous personality. I deserved a University that had enough social life to fit my needs. I deserved a platform that allowed people to comment. Sighs, and as a very indecisive person who spends alot of his time trying to weigh his pros and cons several time before making a decision. Let’s just this isn’t my area of specialization.

I kept wondering what would my partner feel,  breaking up a relationship that I invested so much time and energy into. But there was that family knowing themselves bit. But I was unhappy, I wasn’t allowed to be my self,  because of my relationship I had started self-doubting myself,  and well I had started hating myself, cause I seemed defective to my own self.  I had a playlist, for songs to listen when pissed at my partner, which was all the time. Then one day,  I decided to leave the country. Well,  never return, seeing how I was in my home country now. And cut off all ties,  and everything. Terrible breakup move. I know, but after that I started seeing something I was better.  I had more confidence. I loved myself even more. I was more okay with being everything I am. And I realized that am actually, better at making decisions than I thought . Am just too scared of making the wrong decision. Same goes with switching my blogging platform, same goes with changing school. I just have to make the Big Move. And most likely when I make it. I’ll love it. Maybe it’s the same with you. Maybe you need to take that risk. And you’ll be better for it. 

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4 Replies to “Life || The Big Move”

  1. Well.. In as much as we make some annoying decisions,God still has our back and we should never ever give up because that’s the Devils joy. One thing that works for me is constantly confessing God’s word till it becomes a part of me, till I see myself in that reality. It builds your confidence, e.g…you have an exam today and you start confessing 1) I’m the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus(so God can never fail since I’m one with him, I can’t fail) 2)I have the mind of Christ… This comment would be way to long if I start… I’ll put some tips up on my blog soon.


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